Plot Twist newsletter: This self-help book has hit the zeitgeist | The Economist
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Some books perfectly encapsulate their moment, becoming both mirror and megaphone.[1] That was the case with “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg, then an executive at Facebook. (I reviewed it at the time.) Her treatise on how women can thrive in the workplace was an international bestseller after its publication in 2013. Since then, who hasn’t been told, or advised a friend, to “lean in”? Pick up a copy, and you will be struck by relics of the Obama era: “Yes we can” optimism, political correctness and a tone of polished pleasantness.
Flash forward to today, and the entrepreneurialism, personal branding and frank speech that now characterise culture are captured in a new book. “Start With Yourself” by Emma Grede (pictured), a businesswoman, has become a New York Times bestseller and social-media phenomenon, with some of her more controversial advice going viral. It is a “Lean In” for the Instagram era.
She writes, for example, about how too many women feel pressured to spend all their free time with their children. Instead, she confesses to being a “max three-hour mum”.[2] (Like Ms Sandberg, she is able to hand off her little ones to a helpful partner and nannies.) A glut of “guilt-based, fear-fomenting content” on social media makes parents forgo personal time. Her path from working-class east London to a place on the Forbes list of the richest self-made women has informed this parenting philosophy: she argues that children need less from their parents than many believe. (She was a “parentified child” who helped bring up her younger sisters, because her single mother worked full-time.)
Ms Grede does not always come off as down to earth. If you are put off by the mention of a Gucci diamante thong on the first page, know that you are not alone—but also that it is worth persevering. “Start With Yourself” is a fascinating book for two reasons. First, it contains some shrewd insights. Working from home, she argues, is harming women’s ability to advance at their companies, because they get less visibility and become ensnared in distracting domestic tasks. She is critical of the backlash against “hustle” culture and emphasis on work-life balance. Too many young people are choosing lifestyle over achievement. “If you want an extraordinary life, it will require extraordinary sacrifice,” she writes bluntly.
Second, the book offers a mirror on society. Ms Grede’s career tracks the rise of the “me-conomy”—where people’s personal brands, moulded by social media, podcasts and media appearances, shape their business success. In some ways people today are very much focused on themselves and their images. But then in other ways they are missing something fundamental: they do not prioritise themselves in the way needed to achieve their goals. Ultimately, she argues, “you have to lean in to start with yourself.”[3]
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